It has been a couple of weeks since new year has started, and most people has a list of goals to achieve whether they are short or long term. It is a good thing to set a goal which help us to keep our sanity throughout the year. Besides, people get motivated, with a I CAN Do attitude. In general, my goal this year is to do better than the last year in terms of parenting, career, relationships and so on. Comparison aside. It is just me against myself.
Anyway, as a Christmas present, I have received a book which I have been wanting to get my hands on since its release, called “Atlas of the Heart” by Brené Brown. This book offers so much more than you would think. And here is a glimpse of the blurb:
“The book takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human.”
Brené Brown is such a talented author and we have included this book in our 10 Perfect Picks for Your Aspiring Feminist Bookshelf article.
Atlas of the heart contains wide range of topics like stress, overwhelm, anxiety, boredom, disappointment, regret, frustration, comparison, jealousy, resentment, grief, paradox, irony, and many more. Incredible book written with so much heart and authenticity. If you want to live more openly, to be in touch with the world and yourself, then I would highly recommend this book.
We always have a choice to choose how we are going to let it affect us. Managing your own emotions seem quite simple but it is hard sometimes. On top of that when you have a growing child who looks up to you every day. That is why it is crucial to understand your feelings. For young kids, managing their anger and frustration (and other feelings and emotions) can be a lot to handle on their own, and kids will not come to you saying, ‘I am struggling with this and that feelings, I need help’. Mostly, they usually act out which is why it is important to provide support.
Without realization, we have already compared ourselves with others. We don’t know, we are doing it. It can be harmful to others and ourselves. Especially social comparison, a parent comparing to the other parent on social media. But at the end of the day, your little one loves you for who you are. A quote from the book:
Comparison says, ‘Be like everyone else, but better’
These two words are different. Here are the definitions from the book that explains the difference. Hope you can use these two words correctly. Quotes from the book:
“Envy occurs when we want something that another person has.”
“Jealousy is when we fear losing a relationship or a valued part of a relationship that we already have.”
Sometimes my son comes up to me and says “I am bored”. Then I tell him he should use his imagination. Eventually his boring day turns out into something like he comes up with his own board game, or some short stories about soldiers fight against future soldiers. So, in some cases boredom makes us frustrated when there is a task lack of meaning, but if there was no boredom there weren’t be any imagination or creation.
A quote from the book:
“Boredom is your imagination calling you”
Have you watched a Disney animation ‘Inside Out’? The main emotions in this animation are Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Fear. Anyway, let us go straight to the point. It is okay to be sad sometimes. In fact, let sadness take over you instead of joy. As parents, we all want our kids to be happy and feeling joyful, but it is fine for them to feel different kind of emotions and it is healthy. In her book, Brown explains in-depth about sadness and things that are important to know about sadness.
A quote from the book:
“To be human is to know sadness. Owning our sadness is courageous and a necessary step in finding our way back to ourselves and each other. “
Shame lives in all of us. The less people talk about shame, the more it accumulates within us. I mean, we don’t have to pour out everything in one spot but taking a little step and bit by bit works. Also, she talks about shame resilience and shame in culture which are very interesting to read. And right after the topic shame, she goes straight into ‘Perfectionism’ with a first sentence written “Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism”.
With that said, change will not happen overnight. It requires persistence and hard work. And do not forget to be kind to yourself.
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